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April, 1999

Voyeurism for Dummies

If you can't write about this then you better hang it up pal, just throw in the towel and resign yourself to a life without memory.  Can't be that bad, lots of people do it.  Fuck it, gonna give it a shot.  If I can't do it now I never will.  Just so long as I can stay out of the bathroom.  That whiskey is killing me.  Let me lay down this scene for you: I'm at the Brewery drinking 7&7's as fast as I can without regurgitating my dinner.  It's empty as usual except for Martin and his 5 droogs, a few stragglers and my party, which consisted of myself, Nicky, and a lovely female friend of his named Beth.  I was loading up for the night, shots and drinks in rapid succession.  Beth was sitting on the stool next to mine, looking oh so edible in little black shorts that showed off those smooth ivory legs.  Not that I was staring, I faced straight ahead, counting the bottles like I always do.  Nicky was floating in and out of conversation, mingling with Martin's boys and chatting it up with the bartender.  Every once in a while Beth would find his ear and whisper god-knows-what to him, and he would laugh, smile and say, "tell John that" and direct her attention back to me.  But she rarely bothered to fill me in.  I didn't care; I was drinking too hard, feeling too good to be curious, and buzzing too severely to worry about the fact that I was going to be sleeping on my couch tonight.  "Hey man, Beth wants to let you watch us, as long as you don't touch her or anything."  Nicky said this to me quietly after Beth walked past me to the bathroom. Was I offended?  I thought maybe I should be for a brief moment.  So she doesn't want to fuck me, so what, she certainly wasn't alone.  And I had no intention of asking her if she did, but here I was thinking about it now, but then the reality presented itself again.  They wanted me to watch.  This gorgeous young girl and my best friend wanted me to sit there and look at them while they got it on. Never let it be said that John Demeter ever turned down a live sex show, not this year at least. I had ordered two more drinks and cursed them now that the evening had purpose.  Beth whispered more shit to Nicky, shit I couldn't hear, but it seemed to be full speed ahead.  I downed the shot and the drink.  We said our good-byes to Martin and his crew and shuffled out, my stomach just starting to feel the first flap of butterfly wings. I tried really hard not to have thoughts about what was in store for me.  The music was loud and the bat hit calmed me down a little.  I was sitting in the back seat on the passenger side of Nick's Cherokee, staring out the side window at the faint crescent moon when I felt some hair brush over my knee. Beth was leaning across the center console massaging Nicky's right leg.  He stayed the course, sliding down in the seat somewhat.  By the time we got back into Stratford she was really rubbing his cock, I wondered if she was getting tired but she didn't look it, maybe she was enjoying it more than he was.  It was a difficult angle to tell any of that, but I was enjoying the show. Back at my place . . . wait, back to the present for a second, somebody's up early.  That was Beth, walking by my door on her way to the bathroom, damn shame she felt the need to clothe herself for the trip.  Such a wonderful body, ah, o well, to get back to the matter at hand . . . it was walking up the stairs to my section of the house when I finally got a really good look at her legs.  I was walking up just behind her as I drank them in, long, slender, so creamy and looking so soft, well I could go on forever, I figured if that was the end of it there, it would have been an excellent night.  Of course that wasn't the end of it, or I wouldn't be up now, at 6:14 A.M. trying to get it out of my head.  The sun is up now.  I'm feeling nauseous and hungry, my buzz just a memory.  But at 2 my head was floating nicely just above my shoulders.  I sat back in my easy chair watching Cartoon Sushi and smoking a bowl.  Beth was slumped on the couch, she was pretty drunk.  Nicky was relatively sober.  When I looked back after one particularly funny episode of Robin I saw Nicky leaning over Beth, her shirt up around her neck, and he was licking her light pink nipples and massaging her inner thighs . . . Whoa, now were talking, live sex show on the couch, I must be in the front row.  Damn, I forgot to ask what the hell they want me to do.  Should I just sit here?  Can I shout out helpful hints or requests?  No probably not.  Jesus she's got great tits.  They don't even know I'm here I don't think.  Oh man, her moaning is giving me a hard-on. "Take her shorts off," I whispered.  No response.  Nicky was trying to lick her pussy by moving over her shorts, fine for him but it did nothing for my view.  "Take her shorts off."  Beth whispered something I couldn't hear. Nicky gave me the gist of it, "Shut up dude." OK, so they don't want me to talk.  Ah yeah, finally taking her shorts off. Wait, take her shirt off while yr at it . . . oh too late.  Christ is there anything hotter looking that a chick getting her cunt licked and just fucking loving every second?  No, I thought not.  She sounds almost better than she looks.  Come on Nick move her over a bit, I can't fucking see over here. Damn, did I say that out loud?  No no, I'm not that stoned, but it's like he read my mind.  Look at that cunt, Jesus Jumped-up Christ, totally shaved and what a nice pinkish hue.  Can she kick over more of those chess pieces?  I wish she would, that damn white king is blocking my view.  I think she's gonna cum soon.  Is it "cum" or "come"?  Ah, my trusty Microsoft Word thesaurus informs me that it is "come" or "to reach sexual fulfillment."   "Cum", as I suspected, must be an invention of pornographers.  I think she's gonna come soon.  Wait a second, it defined "come" as a verb but what about the shit Nicky's surely gonna squirt on this girls stomach later?  Let's see, "seed", "semen", well there's plenty of time to worry about that. I think she's gonna come soon.  Damn her leg's really starting to shake. She's getting pretty loud too.  Now she's not gonna come, what the hell . . . oh there she goes, almost there, damn I got wood like fucking, uh, like something that's got a lot of wood in it.  God this girl looks so tasty.  Ah, there she goes, damn she's loving that, her stomach looks like an alien is gonna pop out and bit Nicky on the top of the head.  Ok, the cunnilingus section of our show is over, ladies and gentlemen, please move into the bedroom for some hardcore fucking.  "We got a bedroom you know," I whispered.  No response.  Oh yeah, they're trying to ignore me.  "Hey, how about the bedroom?"  Nicky finally looked my way, a shut up man look, but he agreed.  Beth sat up on the couch and pulled her shirt back down over those perky, I-want-to-lick-them-forever tits.  I must have been too stoned to keep my mouth shut, "you guys are great man, you really ought to get this on tape."  I found out later that this little comment almost got me booted from the theater.  Apparently this little fantasy of Beth's wasn't exactly what she thought it would be.  I got a weird vibe as we all went into my bedroom.  They were doing the elevator routine, not looking at me or talking or making any sudden movements.  Once I was settled in my satellite chair, diet coke at hand, cartoon sushi back on the TV, they got right back into it.  This time I was only about two feet away from the action and not way across the room.  All right, now we're talking some full frontal nudity.  Oh, hello blowjob time.  Whoa, she's really into it.  Ah shit, this is gonna do me in.  I've been talking to this girl all night, and now I have to see her with Nick's member sliding down her throat.  Oh geez don't lick his balls, ah man . . . now is about the time there is a chance I could get depressed.  But no, it's not there now, maybe it's the pot, maybe it's the hand stroking my raging hard-on through my shorts.  Well what do ya know, it's my hand.  Oh Christ now it's 69 time.  Man, haven't done that one in a while.  Jesus give the guy a break Beth he just licked you for like a half hour, oh that's it, just throw some finger's in there.  Didn't this girl just have like 10 asthma attacks an hour ago?  She sure isn't coming up for air now.  This is some shit.  I can't believe that I'm sitting here watching this at their request.  I've always kind of lived through Nicky vicariously, at least when it came to shit like this, and now I got it right under my nose.  I've never felt so invisible.  I think they've completely blocked me out; this is so weird.  Not the invisible part, I almost always feel like that, walking by people in the street, not looking, not noticing, I don't blame those guys who dye their hair blue and put spikes through their heads.  They KNOW the silent ones are averting their eyes.  So it must be the two people fucking on my bed.  Jesus I sure am glad I majored in philosophy so I can think about crap like this, at a time like this, fuck it, I'm just gonna start jerking off, if they notice they'll never say anything anyway.  There was no going back after that.  Beth was on her back, her legs up high, totally naked, as was Nicky, getting loud, getting fucked, squeaking those springs.  It felt like I was watching it on TV, only clearer, and much more entertaining.  My cock was out in the open now and I wasn't gonna last too long . . . Where's a fast forward button when you need one?  Come on Nicky, turn her over or something.  Cartoons, yeah the cartoons are still on.  Shit I can't watch em with Beth moaning like that.  I have such a view from here, I could be a great pornographic camera man.  This angle is very nice, I can see most of her body, her face, her torso, her cunt, Nicky is doing a fantastic job of fucking her without getting in the way, and those legs, up over his shoulders, her chest is heaving, ooh oh . . . skateboarding . . . baseball . . . 8x5=40, 8x4=32 . . . damn she looks so good, funny how I can enjoy this so much when usually seeing a guy naked is so uncomfortable.  It's like I can block him out.  He might as well be Peter North right now.  Come on Peter, she sounds too good, she looks so soft, she's bucking like a bronco, I can't hold out too much lon . . . Nuts to you, I'm gonna come anyway . . . still life . . . her lips not my hand . . . smooth soft skin . . . her legs on my shoulders . . . the look . . . in her .  .   . eyes   .    .        . I love these cartoons.  Could go for a stop button about now.  No, you fool! This is live, turn on that VCR in yr head and get every second of this, because I have a feeling it's not gonna happen again.  Hey I think it's almost time for the money shot.  Come on Nicky, get it done.  She's coming again . . . oh yeah, she sure did . . . oh good show, excellent timing, whoa, all over her stomach, good volume, thumbs up kid . . . After the finale Nick got some towels and they dried themselves.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I gave them a quick golf clap, which didn't amuse them. They didn't seem to be in good humor.  I guess they were just really tired, I could understand that.  But I also felt kinda bad, were they not having fun because of me?  Was I an amateurish voyeur?  It was obvious when Nicky left the room for a minute that Beth was uncomfortable with me there.  She wasn't naked anymore, she had a towel, and considering what I just saw, what the hell right?  Oh well, another one I can't answer.  Maybe it was that moment right before I came, I was looking right at her face and for the first time since going into my room she looked at me.  There I was, cock in hand, watching her getting fucked, maybe the reality of that was too much for the moment.  We both just wanted to "reach sexual fulfillment."  And that did it for me, I came almost instantly after that.  She took a bit longer.  I can hear them going at it again right now.  But this time the door is closed.  She's much louder.  I'm much hornier.  What were we trying to do?  Did it work?   Shut up with the questions already.  It's fucking 8 A.M.  Time for bed.  You just keep the course, ok.  Let this fuck with her, you just keep living weird and reporting truly.  Everything else is gravy.

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